Hang onto your joke ideas for when Perry is caught giving a blowjob in an airport bathroom for the paper‘s More like DICK Perry 2012 Contest & Giveaway
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New Issue
On campus and on the internet, the paper‘s new issue is out now. Sure, we probably spent a regrettable amount of time “researching” for our try at Steet Style (page 20) and developing our escape plan for when the football team tries to kick our ass over another article (page 9), but we also found time to do real journalism on potential Fordham dorm sign-in policy changes (page 10) and on the most horrifying haunted house of all time OMG (page 15). We also responded to the insanity that was the Penn State JoPa riots and how the entire tragedy serves as a blueprint for how sexual assault is protected within institutions (page 3). Of course, album reviews including the new Los Campesinos! are on page 22 and perfectly autumnal comix are on page 24.
All this and more, just a click away:
In conclusion, Alanis on this issue of the paper:
Review: Childish Gambino’s CAMP
by Chloe Rickert
Before everyone got to hear the entire album for free on NPR’s website, Donald Glover aka hip-hop artist Childish Gambino described Camp for Rolling Stone: “The biggest compliment I can give the album right now is it’s worthy of being on Glassnote.” After having three previous albums, two mixtapes, and one EP for free download online, the writer/actor/rapper finally joined the same label as Mumford & Sons and Phoenix in August to release his latest album. For fans of his music, his new stuff does not disappoint. There are still countless references to his unpopularity in school, his weakness for whiskey and Asian ladies, and his “haters.”
Turn on the first track and backup vocalists begin to harmonize, someone plays the keys, and do I hear strings? You realize what kind of an effect signing to a label will have on his music: the production values have obviously gone up, but otherwise he’s extremely consistent with his top quality tunes. “Outside” is the first song and it features a beautiful hook of his choir encouraging you that “there’s a world we can visit if we go outside.” The background singers really set the tone and the beat for a lot of the album that includes songs I could see dancing to in a club like “Heartbeat” and more poppy songs that could get some radio play like “Firefly.”
I love Donald Glover, not only because he’s handsome, hilarious, and talented and I want to make beautiful mixed babies with him, but also because his music can make me giggle, gasp, or even tear up. I don’t know what my favorite song is yet, but the best part of the album might be the very end of the last song “That Power” when Glover recounts a story of telling a girl he liked her on the bus back from summer camp. Later he finds out she told everyone and the other girls make fun of him. He explains, “This isn’t a story about how girls are evil or how love is bad,” and ends the album on a very serious note: “I wish I could say this was a story about how I got on the bus a boy and got off a man more cynical, hardened, and mature and shit, but that’s not true. The truth is I got on the bus a boy and I never got off the bus. I still haven’t.”
A lot of his words hit close to home. He says exactly what you’re thinking about that special guy or girl in “Heartbeat”: “Are we dating? Are we fucking? Are we best friends? Are we something in between that? I wish we never fucked, and I mean that. But not really, you say the nastiest shit in bed and it’s fucking awesome.” He also sneaks good advice into his verses with humor. In “Hold You Down,” he preaches, “If you’re a father, you should stick around if you could/ Cause even if you’re bad at it, you get Tiger Woods or MJ,” jokingly suggesting that even if you’re a bad father you should stay in your kid’s life because your son could turn out to be like Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan.
Although his songs often deal with not being taken seriously as a rapper due to his more famous comedy, it’s pretty clear that being a comedy writer directly influences his more clever lyrics. It even inspires bragging lines like “cause having an Emmy just wasn’t enough” from his 2011 EP. Furthermore, no one that attended this year’s IAMDONALD tour where he performed stand-up and rap in one show can doubt his talent. Camp officially dropped November 15, but you can stream the whole thing right now on NPR.org.
Maria Bamford Powell’s Haul Video
Comedian, paper interview subject, and pug-owner Maria Bamford was on Conan last night. Her set, though amazing duh obviously, didn’t offer much by way of new jokes. This is a segue into posting some new, probably-never-repeated-again jokes in Maria’s Powell’s Haul Video, a take off of youtube makeup guru’s haul videos, which is my favorite thing in the world and, since I started blogging here, basically the theme of the paper’s blog. Thank you soooooo much for watching I seriously love you guys!!!!
“Maybe I don’t know anything about The Bluest Eye or Ralph Ellison but I know about suffering, okay?”
The “Too Old To Trick Or Treat” Issue
Too late to post a Halloween issue? Nonsense.
Follow the link for the October 22nd Coalition’s march against police brutality, the Occupy the Bronx movement, the crappy realities of unpaid labor (Eat your heart out, Ross Perlin), mysterious dog fighting, a long list of long books, and cults. Depressing? Sure. Uncensored? Definitely. Inappropriately jokey? Always.
the paper-Vol XL-Issue viii-Nov 2 (1)
NEW ISSUE
This issue, we take a close look at the Occupy Wall Street protest with both a visual documentation of the events (pg. 21) and a firsthand account mistreatment at the hands of the NYPD by a Fordham grad (pg. 4). Also check out a response to The Ram (pg. 9) and the second installment of Superhero Dean Rogers (pg. 24)
“I Want…” -an Occupy Wall Street photoessay
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Occupy Wall Street is shrouded in uncertainty. Did the NYPD lull the protestors into mass arrest on the Brooklyn Bridge, or did a small gang of OWS participants take a risk without considering its impact on the other participants? Is OWS moving towards a multiclass movement, or did its initial base of young college grads render its multiclass vision impossible? Is it Tahir Square or the left’s Tea Party? Polarized sides of the debate, from OWS’s official news source occupywallstreet.org to dismissive mainstream sources, have drawn lines in the sand on these and so many other questions related to the movement. All the paper is certain about, however, is that these questions do not have hard-and-firm answers.
To move closer toward some critical truth, paper contributor and Fordham student Rachel Dougherty has been investigating Occupy Wall Street since September 17. To cleverly engage her questions about the event and its participants, Rachel explains in an essay published in this week’s issue of the paper:
“I walked around Zuccotti Park (henceforth referred to as Liberty Plaza) and gave each person a note card and a single instruction: write the words ‘I want’ followed by one thing that brought you to the occupation. Once people finished their note cards, I photographed them, and we chatted about what sort of society they envisioned.”
This photoessay is the result of her work. Visually gripping and provocative, it contains around 100 completed notecards.View them individually and check out interviews and audio recordings from Zuccotti Park after the jump
The final word on Troy Davis
It is only a little incredibly embarrassing to watch TV’s Mathis* out-judge the Supreme Court.
That is all.
*On whose show a friend of mine once presented a case about getting his hookah and speakers stolen at a University of Illinois frat party
the paper: fall 2011′s first issue
Welcome back, twerps. In the first issue of this semester, we tackle questions like:Who would Jesus vote for? How will views of the death penalty be affected by the injustice in the Troy Davis case? Is Dean Rogers’ story actually a mythic tale of Bro Redemption? Is Chaz Bono’s appearance on Dancing With The Stars helpful or destructive to trans*gender people? Are fitted hats as dope as everyone thinks they are?
For answers to these questions and SO MANY MORE, check out the digital issue at the link below or pick up a copy in any academic building or dorm on campus.
New issue in print on campus, in WordPress on soon
I wanted to let y’all know that the new issue of the paper is currently available in print on campus and will be available on ze blog tomorrow(ish?). I wanted to let you know this via 1) words and 2) a youtube video of a lovably socially awkward man singing “Y’all Ready For This” into a camera framed pretty squarely on his shoulders/head (possibly revealing a disheveled bookshelf/John Prine poster/other miscellany in the background). Instead, I repeatedly searched Youtube for “guy singing y’all ready for this (jock jams)” and wound up with no relevant results.
Internet, you should be ashamed of yourself.
-marisa
