the paper


But Can a Robot Lady Learn to Love?
February 19, 2009, 11:23 pm
Filed under: Arts | Tags: , , ,

I’d like to introduce you guys to a friend of mine: Sarah Haskins.  Sarah and I go way back.  According to this interview, we graduated from Harvard together and then did a stint in Chicago’s Second City improv troupe.  Now we both live out in L.A. and work as professional writers and comedians.  There’s a little more to the story than that— including the fact that by ‘we,’ I might actually mean ’she’— but I don’t want to bore you with details.  I just wanted to let you know that we hang out every Thursday night on current tv’s show Infomania.  She makes the hilarious observations and snarky comments about how advertisers market to women, and I eat my Pugsley’s mushroom and onion pizza and consider taking a shower.  And now we want you to join us! Check out tonight’s bit about skin care: 

more about “But Can a Robot Lady Learn to Love?“, posted with vodpod

That reminds me— I should probably go take a shower.  Or something.

— Emily



You’re Fucking Kidding, Right?
February 9, 2009, 11:51 pm
Filed under: Edits, News, Sports | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

In the third consecutive internet post to take on the word fuck in its title (because that’s what we do here at the paper–curse gratuitously), comes this little gem of a video from tonight’s presidential press conference. Obama’s response to a question about A-rod’s juicing problem:

Well thank god somebody had the balls to go there. I mean really, what crack journalist came up with that one? As the nation sits on the precipice of medievality, nothing–and I reiterate, nothing–is more important to me as a red-blooded, baseball lovin’, Budweiser swill swiggin’, meat chompin’ American male as Barack Obama’s thoughts on A-rod pumping his ass full of steroids over a three year period that ended six years ago. Clearly, this guy has nothing more important to do.

More incoherent ranting to follow: (more…)



Remembering 2008: Best News Analysis
December 30, 2008, 5:29 pm
Filed under: Edits, News | Tags: , , , , , , ,

The fourth in a series of very lazy year end posts that, like a good clip show, celebrate our best moments of the year with absolutely no creative effort of any kind. The following article first appeared in our October 8th issue.

Gotcha!

The Danger of Palin’s War on Journalism

By Bill Donahue
Co-Deaditor-In-Chief

It would be fairly foolish to expect politicians to willingly give straight-forward answers that fully satisfy the questions asked by journalists. They, in their attempt to court voters, are trying with all their might to answer in such a way that is beneficial to their image and does not expose weakness. It makes sense that they would try to change the subject, answer euphemistically, or do anything else to avoid tough questions. This is a sad reality, but a reality nonetheless. (more…)