Filed under: News | Tags: abe lincoln, Barack Obama, Election, John McCain, McCain, News, Obama
A Little Too Much, But You Get The Point
More than any election before it, this election has shown the deep fissures that have the potential to tear America apart, and I wholeheartedly believe that that is a bad thing. Despite Sarah Palin’s exclusion of my city from her “Real America” and the anti-liberal, anti-educated, and anti-east coast rhetoric that I find personally offensive, I believe with every fiber of my being that from the streets of Arthur Ave. to the streets of Omaha, Nebraska we are Americans and we must stand together. Today, my guy may have beat your guy, or maybe our guy beat someone else’s guy, but tomorrow we must address the problems that face this nation as brothers and sisters, as patriots.
This moment will be a litmus test for all of us as Americans, to move beyond believing the first African-American man to run for office is an anti-American terrorist, and to move beyond the belief that the middle half the country is culturally irrelevant, bigoted and worthless. While the past few weeks have made us seem like a red and blue America, I truly believe that every one of us loves the Red, White and Blue. The time for fearmongering, excuses and attacks is over. The battle is won. Now we must, as Americans, look towards tomorrow and see what we can do to ensure the safety, stability and respectability of this great nation. It will not be easy, but we are not a nation of quitters. We shall overcome. Whether or not Sean Hannity and I would agree on a point by point basis, I think we would both agree that this is the greatest country on earth, and its principals are greater still. Good Night, and God Bless America.
-Sam.
p.s. Nice speech McCain. Really.
Filed under: News | Tags: abe lincoln, Barack Obama, Election, John McCain, McCain, News, Obama
The Warrior
We damn dirty liberals do loves us some blogging. But the drawback with blogs is that anyone can have one, how do you know that the blog is credible? That we’re not reading some glue-huffing, cat food-eating wastrel’s paranoid schizophrenic misinterpretation of current events? Well, you don’t, so, in order to make ourselves even more credible than we are, we at the paper built ourselves a situation room (slash zombie defense bunker). Now we’re up against a pretty strong field. CNN earlier today projected a hologram interview and have a giant electoral touch screen roughly the size of Rhode Island. Touché CNN. Fox News has a zero gravity vacuum where it is literally impossible to generate spin. Some sort of No Spin Zone. MSNBC almost has viewers. So we here at the paper decided to make a situation room that would put all other situation rooms (and panic rooms) to shame. Firstly, we have installed live feeds from every polling station in the United States. 13,000 feeds into 200 televisions, each approximately 2 inches in diameter, that gradually changes color into a giant mural of the projected winner. Your move, Blitzer.
More infrequency after the jump. (more…)
Filed under: Edits, News | Tags: Election, Is it fucking over yet, obamanation, Taxes
caveat lector? "let the reader beware?" really?
Okay, when I first read this, I thought it was novel as in the art form. I realize now that is a mostly retarded mistake on my part. Regardless, this article more or less sums up the sheer stupidity that is our public political discourse. It’s worth reading, but a brief summation is as follows: The Daily Howler chronicles Gene Robinson’s trigger finger in characterizing Sarah Palin’s political character. He not once, but twice comes to two wholly different and oversimplified conclusions about a woman who’s been in the public light for somewhere around ten weeks. It’s almost as if he feels there will be no November 5th, and he must get in his last two cents while he still can, instead of doing what a rational person would do after making one mistaken rash judgment: wait it out.
The article further talks about how ridiculously vague both candidates have been in the debates and elsewhere, using a the specific example of tax issues and how many conservatives see Barack Obama’s “spreading the wealth” as a push towards socialism/communism. It points out that Barack Obama’s plan for top marginal income tax is less than 5% higher than John McCain’s (JM’s is 35%, BO’s 39.6%). Regarding the Joe the Plumber debacle that’s plagued the airwaves, the article elucidates exactly how much more Joe would be paying if he managed to break the $250,000 profit margins: 36% versus 33%.
Now, this is a pretty modest difference, and certainly a far cry from socialism, but it bears asking: if this difference is so minimal, why wouldn’t Obama have just divulged these numbers during the debate? It’s empirical evidence that would’ve debunked McCain’s claim in a second. I’m all for thinking that the majority of Americans are dumb as hell, but I’m pretty certain that even those of the most meager intellect can understand just how minuscule 3% is. But hell, it’ll be over soon anyway. Just had to get my last two cents in.
Filed under: Arts, Edits | Tags: All Tomorrow's Parties, Drambuie, Election, free, New York City, Open Bars, party time
This Tuesday (tomorrow!!!), millions of Americans will shape the destiny of out country… blah blah blah… etc. etc. etc. If you’re reading this blog, chances are you give half a shit enough to vote (we hope!), and hopefully you have the intellectual fortitude to make the right (ah-hem!) choice.
Please spay or neuter your pets.
That being said, election day is also a prime opportunity to score free/cheap booze, food and entertainment in the New York area, while hob-nobbing with the nation’s snootiest liberals.
FREE DRAMBUIE COCKTAILS @ The Bell House
With projector screens, a couple of comedians, free booze (from 10PM-10:30PM), free food (specifically cupcakes) and a (rumored) DJ set from a member of Fanny Pack (of “Camel Toe” fame), you really can’t go wrong. The Bell House is a beautiful new venue in Brooklyn that’s closest to the F, M, or R stop at 9th St-4th Ave.
FREE BULLDOG GIN @ Catch-22
Catch-22 is the type of venue that reeks of hair-gel and cocaine. But they are offering two hours of free high class gin at a place that normally charges $15 a drink. Take the N, R, or W to 23rd St. One catch, you gotta RSVP with these assholes. Send ‘em an email here: poull@wayoverbudget.com
EXIT ART ELECTION NIGHT PARTY @ Galapagos
Okay, so this bitch is $10, that being said Galapagos is an awe inspiring art space that boasts a 1,600 square foot indoor lake and those measly ten bucks will get you two hours of free organic beer and sake (from 7 to 9 PM). Also, special performances from bands you’ve never heard of and DJs spinning the usual fun shit with massive screens keeping you up to date alllll night. All of that comes with screen-printing workshops and political-mask making stations. Oh, and as a bonus sweetener, the “Yes We Can! Can!” burlesque dancers will be shakin’ their rumps for your drunk asses all night. Galapagos is in the uber-fancy DUMBO area of Brooklyn; just take the F to York street and follow the directions found on HERE.
