Filed under: News | Tags: Chad Ciocci, Event Horizon, Fordham University, Newt Ginrich, Young Republicans
That’s right kids, Newt Gingrich is being paid to do his lil’ Lazarus act upon the Republican party right here at Rose Hill, according to the internet’s sister blog, The Liberty Forum. Here’s what our favorite friends had to say over at Dullard Central:
Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the House of Representatives and leader of the 1994 Republican Revolution, will be speaking at Fordham University on April 20, 2009.
What is this? Did the Spice Girls reunion open a sort of terrible pandora’s box that has dispersed nostalgia for the terrible 90s upon the universe? Where the hell did they dig up Newt from, anyways? I thought he had resigned to writing terrible sub- Tom Clancy novels and giving his two cents on that cable news network for people who can’t read (FOX News)? Wasn’t the high water mark for Newt, uh, 12 years ago?
Newt Gingrich, headline maker...
For those of you in the know, Fordham’s lead dunce, Chadwick E. Ciocci, had called upon 1994’s favorite rotund Republican to become the de-facto leader of the headless GOP, beating out such esteemed colleagues as Rush Limbaugh and Michael Steele.
Nevertheless, we have been assured that his delightfully chubby visage will be gracing our emerald campus on April 20th, and you heard that here first folks (’cause no one, ‘cept us, reads the Liberty Forum).
-Charles
Filed under: News | Tags: Cartoon, Chad Ciocci, Chimpanzee, New York Post, Sean Delonas
Well Chad Ciocci, the New York Post has officially beaten you to the punch in publishing the most astonishingly stupid and tasteless thing in our nacsent millenium:
This controversial turd was penned by Sean Delonas who has apparently been churning out similarly mindless conservative “editorial cartoons” for years now. The fact that this managed to “slip” by the Post’s crack editorial staff just goes to prove that the Rupert Murdoch owned rag is staffed with illiterate scum. You can see more of this young Hogarth’s masterpieces, here. And you can read about the villainous response the Post is giving to the brewing controversy, here (these fuckers had the balls to use this to cheap shot the down-and-out civil rights leader, Al Sharpton).
The main point of this fiasco is that this wretched cartoon (from, of course, a conservative mind) is just one more dump in a steaming pile of horse-shit that stands as evidence as to why the conservative viewpoint has no place in a modern society and belongs absolutely nowhere in an ethical media landscape. It is becoming startlingly obvious that media that upholds a “conservative” viewpoint is consistently lowdown, lecherous, vile, evil and outrageous.
Jesus Christ, this marks yet another low-point in Rupert Murdoch’s all out assault on media legitimacy.
-Charles
Filed under: News | Tags: 1st Amendment, Chad Ciocci, Fascist Bastard, Liberty Forum, Los Angeles City College, Proposition 8, Young Re, Young Republicans
We here at the paper are a crafty lot, while most people believe that our existence hinges upon Free Speech being upheld to the T; in actuality we can say whatever we want because we’re always fucking right and you (should you ever, ever disagree) are always fucking wrong. As far as we’re concerned, everything that we write and everything we think is fucking gospel and that’s absolutely final. And if you don’t like it, go back to reading USA Today, ya fuckin’ Tobias.
the paper woud like to present John Matteson this Medal for bravery in fighting in America's great culture war.
This brings me to tonight’s sure to be hot button discussion topic: a professor called a student a “fascist bastard” in class after some little fascist bastard attempted to give an anti-gay marriage speech at Los Angeles City College. The student, Jonathan Lopez, was berated by his hot-headed professor, John Matteson, who cut him off during the speech, wrote: “Ask God what your grade is” on his final evaluation and generally bullied the little snot out of an actual discourse in an institution for higher learning. Does any of that strike you as insane? Maybe we need to stock up on these kinds of outspoken wing nuts in our educational systems so as to prevent kinds from growing up like Chad Ciocci and embarrassing themselves in print weekly. Nothing could sound as sane as that, am I right? As far as I’m concerned we as a nation should be giving this asshole an award, maybe the Congressional Medal of Honor, or at least a Golden Globe!
The only problem with any and all of this is that without conservative quasi-pundits polluting our fair school’s more “respected” rag with godless, anti-American stupid-speak, what the hell would we have to complain about? I honestly don’t know what I would write about if we didn’t have our good friends over at the Fordham Liberty Forum! And that, my friends, is why, despite the fact that we are always 100% unarguably correct about everything 100% of the time (typos and grammar excluded, of course), we need free speech so that people like Dougie Kohn can rhetorically fall on his ass on-line and in print, and we can safely make fun of him from our infallible pulpit in the sky. As for this professor, his major crime wasn’t telling that little jerk the God’s Honest Truth! His crime was taking the fun out of entering into a free spirited back and forth with the little fascist bastard.
That is what Free Speech means to me. Goodnight, and God Bless the United States of America.
-Charles
Filed under: Edits, News | Tags: Barack Obama, Chad Ciocci, George W Bush, John Boehner, Stimulus Package
After a hard night of boozing amidst a crowd of pimply-faced high school students at the Jolly Tinker last night, the dour clouds of my hangover found respite in the mirth that comes from a true love of one’s country and the hilarious farce that is Fordham’s Young Republican crowd. The Stimulus Bill passed, President Obama’s image appears to be totally untarnished by his recent tribulations and that whole “neglected transparency” thing that got John Boehner’s boxers in a bunch appears to be receiving the attention it deserves, in the form of a website that will go up when the legislation is signed into law by the Commander in Chief.
All of which brings me to my thesis: suck it, Liberty Forum (Fordham University’s journal of news analysis, comment and review for people who can’t read). Without rehashing the ugliness of my edit on the same subject in the last issue of the paper, let me remind the sane readers out there that there are still conservatives in this country who are terrified of Barack Obama and the damage he might do to this country. What? Yes. Seriously? Dead serious. These are people who were actually down with going into Iraq, these are people who kept their mouths shut during the Enron collapse, these are the same people that voted Bush twice and were outraged by the midterm elections in 2006. Barack Obama… what me worry?!?
Is this real life?
These people are either villains or idiots, there’s no middle ground anymore! Was Rachel Ring drunk when she wrote this? Or is this a permanent condition? Is Douglas Kohn (author of this masterpiece) simply simple or is he pure evil? What is wrong in this world? Why are these people receiving a higher education, shouldn’t they be in jail or an institution of some kind? Are they free from mental hospitals because deregulation (small government, baby) saw states having to close down their institutions? Does Chadwick E. Ciocci really think that government “waist“ is located between the nipples and the genitalia?!? You’d think with all the abstract wining he does about it, he’d know there’s a difference in the government blowing trillions of dollars into whimsical wars and a corrupt military industrial complex and where you hang your pants…
It’s what, twenty, thirty days into this administration and the sky is already falling only on rich white kids from Connecticut? Do these people have brain damage? Why are these silly turds getting worked up over anything and everything? Too many questions y’all, Jeez Louise.
-Charles
Filed under: Edits | Tags: Chad Ciocci, Fordham College Republicans, Katie Poedtke, Liberty Forum
So it’s election night. A bunch of us from the paper have gathered ’round and are watching the results roll in, but…nothing’s really happening. It’s almost 9 and we don’t really know anything. So we all cracked open some Amurican dranks in our “situation room” (read: my apartment) and started surfin’ the internets to find something entertaining. And then one of us found THIS.
Now usually when we paper kids find some of the propaganda dribble that the pathetic excuses for conservatives here at Fordham crap out, we have a good chuckle. This time, not so. Too blatantly misinformed, too self-righteous.
So I thought I would comment. I mean, come on, they even claimed to WELCOME my comments:
But when I tried to submit my response, it said “Comments on this blog are restricted to team members. You’re currently logged in as thepaper. You may not comment with this account.”
WHAT?! Wait. WHAT THE FUCK?! Does this mean only Liberty Forum contributors can comment?! Well here’s the full text of what my comment would have been:
“Conservatives have clear limits on what is acceptable and what is unacceptable, on what is right and what is wrong.”
This was THE MOST uninformed and pathetic excuse for political analysis I have read in a long time. Conservatives have clear limits? I guess that’s why people yelled “Kill him!” concerning Obama at Palin rallies. Is that within those limits? How about Anne Coulter calling John Edwards a “faggot” on national television? Unless you are a blatant racist and homophobe, those comments should not be considered within the “clear limits” of good taste. You idiot.
I hope this finds you, Liberty Forum.
xoxo, Kate
