Filed under: News, Strange Days | Tags: balls, Cancer, smoke, testicles, weed
Last week, the internet’s resident balls specialist, Peter Mullin, informed you all of some seriously frightening news considering a rather dubious study on the increase in risk of contracting Prostate Cancer if your a male and enjoy jerking the gerk. Today, famed rudeboy Matt Drudge reported more bad news for those swinging low.
According to a new study, Marijuana may raise the risk of Testicular Cancer in males, and that the holy herb may be held accountable for a more aggressive, harder to treat version of the disease. The study, conducted in Seattle, showed that Marijuana users were 70% more likely to develop the disease than those who abstain from…well, smoking pot.
goodbye!
There really is no good way to put this folks. Apparently the balls are now a no fun zone. What are the two things my balls like to do the most? Exactly, masturbate and smoke weed. I’m always telling them, “listen you two, it’s time to get real. how am I supposed to get a job when all you guys do is jerk off and smoke weed all the time? and the Cheetos crumbs are unacceptable.”
I’m crying foul. This new study is horsewash, simply another myth perpetuated by the tobacco companies to keep marijuana illegal. Horsewash, I say!
Filed under: Edits, News, Strange Days | Tags: Beating Off, Cancer, Masturbation, Mom's Advice, Prostate, Science
Maybe Mom was right about keeping our hands out of our pants after all.
A report published earlier this week claims that males in their 20’s and 30’s who beat it to the tune of 2 to 7 times per week have an increased risk of developing prostate cancer before the age of 60.
Surprise.
The findings published Tuesday in Britain revealed that those of us who are able to show a little restraint from time to time showed an almost 80% percent less chance of catching the cancer bug
Conversely, the study found that if you can hold off on really going to town until you’re 50, incessant masturbation can actually help flush out some toxins that can cause other health problems in older males.
Men in their 40’s received little to no effects from their self pleasure practices, aside, of course, for self pleasure.
Most importantly, the study found no conclusive link between sexual activity and prostate cancer.
Translation = Keep on boning Fordham!
In a related story, assholes like Jim Nicholls, Pastor of the True Christian Church of Christ in Blytheville, Arkansas,.who have been claiming all along that good, old fashioned alone time is really just the work of the devil, would have had another piece of evidence to add to their attack on self love if, you know, they actually believed in science.
And this time it might have had just a shred of credibility, as opposed to the obvious dirty connections between liberals, violence, and excessive masturbation purported by Mr. Nicholls: (more…)
Filed under: Arts, Edits, News | Tags: Barbara Walters, Cancer, Chippendales, Julie Newmar, Patrick Swayze, Red Dawn, Road House, To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Youngblood
In all his glory.
Patrick Swayze, legendary star of such films as Dirty Dancing, Red Dawn, Youngblood and of course, Road House, talks about his battle with pancreatic cancer tonight in an exclusive interview on ABC.
In the interview, the actor, who suffers from stage four of the disease, opens up about his thoughts on life, death, his sickness and undergoing cancer treatments. According to WebMD, Swayze faces an uphill climb for survival.
The cancer was first diagnosed last March and since then the 56-year-old actor has undergone chemotherapy combined with experimental drug therapy. And although the actor acknowledges the severity of his situation, he has still found time to work and his new show “The Beast” airs next week on A&E.
In anticipation of tonight’s interview, the paper reflects on the legacy of Patrick Swayze, including our favorite characters from his storied career.
The Top 5 Swayze Roles of All-Time. (more…)
