“The Papies” are the paper‘s version of the Oscars. Except, were a leftist rag that meddles in school scandels and poop jokes, so rather than giving out our awards to outstanding achievements in film, we’re giving them out for things like, “Best Political Capitulation,” “Best 17 Year Wait for a Guns ‘n’ Roses Album” (you’ll never guess), and “Best Attention Whoring Eight Time Olympic Gold Medalist” (again, you’ll never guess who wins that one).
Read The Papies (PDF version).
