Filed under: News | Tags: cajun boy in the city, Fordham College Republicans, Fordham University, Idiots, Newt Gingrich
Chairman Mao Zedong and President Nixon
The sentiments of many half-wits were echoed by Newt Gingrich on his recent trip to Fordham, when he told us how disgusting and terrible it is that President Obama shook hands with Hugo Chavez. (Really, for those of you who missed it, the fear-mongering cannot be overstated.)
Well Newt, lucky for us some dude put together an amazing photo gallery that shows us (gasp!) that President Obama isn’t the first President to civilly greet controversial world leaders. As the blogger points out:
“…it almost seems like getting to know your adversaries and becoming friendly with them actually acts as a deterrent from them starting wars with you? Go figure! Just like in real life with your neighbors and people you work with!”
The gallery contains pictures of Republican US Presidents cordially greeting everyone from Brezhnev to Gorbachev. Suck on that Newt Gingrich and all of you applauding monkeys who attended the event.
-Kate
Filed under: Strange Days | Tags: America, dumb, enhanced interrogation, hannity, Iraq, Keith Olbermann, olbermann, sad, Sadness, Sean Hannity, stupid, torture, waterboarding
One thousand apologies for the Thompson headline…but this ridiculousness deserves no other title.
A war of the egos is brewing between your angry neighbor Sean Hannity and flaming ideologue Keith Olbermann that has finally spilled over into a fifth dimension of absurdity. Hannity, who knows America can do no wrong, moronically agreed to undergo waterboarding after being antagonized to do so by actor Charles Grodin, whom I’ve never heard of. Hannity announced he would undergo waterboarding for charity, heroically proclaiming, if you will, to do it for “the troops’ families,” because there’s nothing more heartwarming to a grieving mother than seeing a bloated and confused man have water forced down his neck.
Keith Olbermann, anxious for a crusade, then called on Hannity to keep his word, offering to pay $1000 for every second Hannity is waterboarded. Olbermann hopes Hannity will be transformed by the experience, that the torture will make the commentator see the grave severity of waterboarding. While I agree Hannity could be changed by this experience, I am disgusted by Olbermann’s willingness to take part in this circus of stupidity.
Filed under: News, Sports | Tags: eddie's parade, Fordham University, mascot, punch, the ram
Apparently our school is receiving some national attention due to a little run-in our mascot, the Ram, had with an almost certainly drunk and/or high student in the cafeteria on Friday. (By national attention, we mean Deadspin, a subsidiary of the Gawker network. They also zing the Ram’s article on the incident.)
You remember Friday? It was beautiful out, so Eddie’s naturally looked like the Jersey Shore. Yeah? Yeah. Just setting the scene. So this mystery kid was in the Caf and sees the Fordham Ram walk in. The kid runs up to the Ram and punches him, knocking the Ram to the ground and dislodging his big, furry, fake head. Burn.
But it doesn’t end there. Sometimes drunken/high idiots (ourselves included) forget that when you hit someone they may or may not attempt to retaliate. Especially when that person is a large man in a ram costume. The Ram chased the puncher onto Eddie’s Parade and socked him in the face. (God I wish I had done my drinking outdoors on Friday afternoon.) Hundreds of Fordham babes and bros dropped their frisbees and watched on in horror (read: they were lovin’ it and you know it).
John Carroll, Fordham’s Director of Security, along with many other security workers caught up with the two fighting bros. Eventually both students were taken to the hospital (the puncher, reportedly, put up a bit of a stink though).
Comment if you were there, y’alls.
The new issue of The Nation–dated May 11, 2009–also mocks the New York Post on their cover. Great minds think alike, kids!
The Nation
the paper
Filed under: News, Strange Days | Tags: Matt Drudge, Newt Gingrich, The Liberty Forum
Matt Drudge, popular paper target and official news-source for Liberty Forum’s Rachel Ring has called for Americans to be weary of the impending annihilation at the hands of self-aware robot armies, and today he revists that dreaded scenario! This time around our pal Matt has linked to a Reuter’s column that loosely details the unspeakable potential of unthinking robot armies taking over for the caring, loving individuals we have doing Freedom’s gruntwork on the ground in far off lands like Afghanistan, Pakistan and Iraq.
Okay, conservatives, i get it now. After Newt “the Brute” Gingrich barreled into Fordham Prep and gave a (boring) sermon on the potential for novels, the television show 24, and the movie Goldeneye to go from fabulous fiction to terrible truth, I finally got the whole crazy thing pegged. Some conservatives may claim Ronald Reagan, or William F. Buckley as their intellectual (ha) heroes, but in reality, you guys are MUCH more badass than that. Conservative foreign policy is the ideological offspring of bros like Michael Bay, Jason Statham, James Cameron, and “Jack Bauer.” That would explain why Drudge saw the Terminator movies and said to himself: “oh God, I hope it’s not true… but what if?”
T2: Ripped from the headlines
You see, Matt, Arnold is actually an Austrian and the Republican Governor of California, not a robot sent back in time to protect/kill a future leader of human resistance.
But I guess, in the end, it’s as the old conservative saying goes: shit gets blowed up real good unless da goodguys do do blowin’ up first. Am I right, fellas!?
-Charles
Read the Drudge link, here.
This amazing story led off the Times the other day. It’s really worth your time and was hailed by at least one Fordham professor as the best article the nation’s journal of record has had in quite some time. We highly recommend checking out the audio/slideshow as well.
Slideshow and Audio
An Ambush and a Comrade Lost
ALIABAD, Afghanistan — The two Army lieutenants crouched against boulders beside the Korangal River. Taliban gunfire poured down from villages and cliffs above, hitting tree branches and rocks and snapping as the bullets passed over the officers’ helmets. (read more…)
Filed under: Arts, Earwax, Edits, News, Sports | Tags: Fordham University, new issue, Newt Gingrich, the paper
April 22, 2009 — the NEW ISSUE of the paper is out today! Find it in every dorm and class building on campus and RIGHT HERE ONLINE! (Check out the pages on the lefthand toolbar.)
Our cover is an homage to the terribly brilliant and brilliantly terrible puns and layout of the New York Post. Execution is boss, if we do say so ourselves.
Filed under: Edits
Pardon our appearance. We are temporarily under construction.
UPDATE: Everything’s up. Check it out.
Filed under: Edits
In case you’re a part of the tiny but fortunate minority who hasn’t heard about the latest non-issue specifically designed to distract you from the oncoming apocalypse, let the paper rot your medulla with some “entertainment news.” Media failure Perez Hilton & double media failure Fox News are currently feuding about an exchange between Hilton and Miss USA contestant Carrie Prejean during the interview portion of the Sunday night finals. He asked her what her stance on gay marriage was, to which she responded with the following:
“We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite. And you know what, I think in my country, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.”
Naturally, Perez Hilton (real last name not actually Hilton), being the paragon of class that he is, called her a “dumb bitch.” Fox News (real last name not actually News), being the paragon of class that it is, lambasted the contest & blamed her not winning the title on her conservative views. They described her as a “sweet Christian girl” who was the “clear frontrunner” before the debacle.
Newsflash: Perez Hilton & Fox News fighting over the moral highground on any issue is akin to two bald men fighting over a comb, & that’s all I have to say about that. And to Miss Prejean: genuine kudos for being frank about it, but really, did the Mormons cut you some of that leftover Prop 8 cheese?
This whole situation is stupid and pointless to be sure, but the real travesty is how boringly attractive and similar looking the contestants were. I mean, honestly, whoever is picking these women clearly doesn’t have an eye for nuance… or even plain old differentiation.
-Sir Leonard of Papersworth
