the paper


Under Construction
March 31, 2009, 10:36 pm
Filed under: Edits
picture-5

Please pardon our appearance as we upload our newest issue.

Update: Shits Up. Check it out.



An Election Note
March 31, 2009, 9:33 pm
Filed under: Edits | Tags: , , ,
Vote. The World Is Watching...

Vote. The World Is Watching...

So in a “Letters to the Editor” this issue, a student’s names is mentioned as who the author will be voting for FCRH ’11’s USG Vice President rather than Creighton Muscato. Creighton felt that this was a bit unfair, since he won’t have a chance to “respond” before elections, this Thursday, and we don’t blame him. So here’s his platform, just so y’alls got everything straight.

1.) Double the Student Activities Fee Referendum:

As one of the most ambitious aspects of my platform, this initiative, as opposed to many others, would be relatively easy to accomplish with proper student involvement and consent. With practically little effort, we could very seriously improve each one of our college experiences.  As it is, the current student spends the exact sum of $100 to be put towards the Student Activities Fee, a general pot from which clubs may exercise funds and which finances events like Spring Weekend; my aim is to increase this figure to $200.  Now, while this may seem like a heavy increase, the figure must be put into context.  This extra $100 dollars would account for a 0.19% increase in the Resident’s total sum and a 0.23% increase in the Commuter’s total sum, a negligible amount in either circumstance.  The effect would be a notable proliferation of student club activity, on-campus events, and would generate the proper degree of funding to support an event, the scale of Spring Weekend, twice a year. Or, better yet, with the overhead covered for Spring Weekend, we would have enough money to potentially triple the amount spent towards the Weekend’s main performance.  We would have our pick of the litter.  And consider this, the Hughes resident last year was charged $250 toward their bursar account for general vandalism (many of whom never participated in such activities); the money was then basically absorbed in the black hole that is Res. Life, never to be seen again.  But this increased referendum money would be directly influencing us in the most affirmative manner.

Also, as it is my understanding, the Student Activities Fee has remained dormant at the $100 figure since some time in the early nineties when the tuition was approximately half of what it is today.  To change this, all we would have to do is collect 15% of the student body’s handwritten signature; after that, a simple majority vote of the student body would put the new fee into action.  It would be a lofty task, indeed, but it seems completely feasible and, in any case, totally justified.  With your vote, I would work doggedly toward this end so that, by the time we leave this place, we would have had a Spring Weekend of truly epic proportions.

2.) Free Speech

Having served on the newly erected Commission on Free Speech, I hope to see the endeavors of this group continue into the next academic year, for good or ill.  It will take some creativity to ensure an adequate free speech space on our campus, but it is a pure and basic effort.  The ideal model would resemble that of Georgetown’s “Red Square,” a designated area in which the individual is able to express whatever viewpoint deemed fit or otherwise (for example, the place has been allegedly used for the dispersion of contraceptives). The establishment of this sort of entity would not only benefit the intellectual progress of our university, but it is completely necessary given the country and times in which we live; its current absence is a plain hypocrisy to the Jesuit tradition, in the spirit of diverse, intellectual discourse and chaste, honest education.

3.) Club Event Advertisement

As it was my previous intent to run for Exec. VP of Student Life, I formed some thoughts on how we can better implement the McGinley Center.  I believe that the televisions on the sides should be reserved for the advertisement of club events, and other generally important information.  The text is often too small, the format odd, and some of the information wholly irrelevant.  Ideally, a club would submit an advertisement in the form of a PowerPoint slide, and the advertisements would cycle briefly at the top of every hour.  It is an ill-utilized space for advertisement and I wish to see this changed.  Also, I believe that USG should be able to sell a small portion of the advertisement space to local businesses in order to generate revenue which would eventually be transferred to the student body by way of the Doctrine of Active Purchasing (a resolution passed by USG this year which allows the government to purchase items for the student body; this year we purchased an assortment of weights for the gym, as well as several new squash rackets).

In the spirit of elections, here are the Facebook links for the others running for USG VP, FCRH ‘11 (that we could find). We encourage you all to read their platforms and make an educated decision. Any other people running for any of this USG business, feel free to e-mail us (paper.fordham@gmail.com) a link to your Fbook page/Web site/whatever and we’ll post it for you.

Creighton Muscato
Brett Vetterlein
Chris Gannon

Dannialles Dominguez


Fox News gets abused by America
March 27, 2009, 9:01 am
Filed under: Edits

This is Amazazing.  There’s nothing more incredible than when the great minds in news analysis are able to reduce a complex issue into an understandable metaphor for our daily lives.  South Park did it with an elaborate conceit about returning a drink mixer, FOX News did it with an Uncle Sam sexual abuse story.  Jesus, that’s your number one network in news, folks.



“Because that’s not what we’re passionate about”
March 24, 2009, 4:36 pm
Filed under: News, Strange Days | Tags: , , ,

That refers to dead women. 

The quote is the response I received from a member of Fordham’s “Respect for Life” club today after I asked, for the third time, why the club didn’t set up a cross to honor the women who die of illegal abortions.  Or all abortions, if they’d prefer. But they would NOT prefer thankyouverymuch because that’s not what they’re passionate about!! 

In case you missed it, Respect for Life boldly displayed their passion today all over Alpha House lawn. They staked some 4,000 white flags in the ground in the shape of a cross, bringing to our attention the number of cell clusters that are ruthlessly killed every day.  These and other statistics were displayed on the surrounding fence, and guarding the whole thing was a handful of Respect for Life members. They stood proudly, inviting questions and comments from both sinners and the saved.

 I decided to strike up a conversation, inquiring as to whether they were the Respect for Unborn Life club or the Respect for—

“No— all life,” came the reply.

So I asked my question about their lack of respect for dead women.  They dodged my question, twice, by saying some really educated things about how women are forced into abortions and not given a choice (HA!…ha…uhhhwhaaa?).  They cited four women who had come to speak about how much they regretted their abortions.

“They represent all women who have had abortions?” I pointedly asked.  

“No, but, a lot of women feel they don’t have a choice.  They don’t know that—”

“Really?  Women don’t know they don’t have to have abortions? Don’t you think that’s a little condescending towards women?” I asked the strapping young gentleman I was conversing with. The rest of our discussion can be roughly summed-up as, “go fuck yourself.”  I was bitter and unyielding, and they were sighing and snickering and bullshitting about how so many women die from legal abortions.  

So I rephrased my question: “OK, why don’t you guys honor the women who die of abortions?”

And the answer, we now know, is because they just don’t care about that.

In sum: Fordham Respect for Life respects all life, but isn’t ‘passionate’ about dead women.  There are two possible conclusions to be drawn from these seemingly contradictory facts: Fordham Respect for Life is a bunch of liars and hypocrites, and/or (but probably and) Fordham Respect for Life doesn’t consider women ‘life.’

And THAT is why you should talk to people you disagree with; it can be so enlightening!

To enlighten yourself, for real, keep reading, but be warned that the following contains graphic images:

(more…)



Old, Fat Homophobe To Speak at Fordham
March 23, 2009, 11:09 pm
Filed under: News | Tags: , , , ,

That’s right kids, Newt Gingrich is being paid to do his lil’ Lazarus act upon the Republican party right here at Rose Hill, according to the internet’s sister blog, The Liberty Forum. Here’s what our favorite friends had to say over at Dullard Central:

Newt Gingrich, former Speaker of the House of Representatives and leader of the 1994 Republican Revolution, will be speaking at Fordham University on April 20, 2009. 

What is this? Did the Spice Girls reunion open a sort of terrible pandora’s box that has dispersed nostalgia for the terrible 90s upon the universe? Where the hell did they dig up Newt from, anyways? I thought he had resigned to writing terrible sub- Tom Clancy novels and giving his two cents on that cable news network for people who can’t read (FOX News)? Wasn’t the high water mark for Newt, uh, 12 years ago?

 

Newt Gingrich, former headline maker...

Newt Gingrich, headline maker...

 

For those of you in the know, Fordham’s lead dunce, Chadwick E. Ciocci, had called upon 1994’s favorite rotund Republican to become the de-facto leader of the headless GOP, beating out such esteemed colleagues as Rush Limbaugh and Michael Steele.

Nevertheless, we have been assured that his delightfully chubby visage will be gracing our emerald campus on April 20th, and you heard that here first folks (’cause no one, ‘cept us, reads the Liberty Forum).

-Charles



the paper does Spring Break in Cancun!
the paper...featured on CBS Evening News

the paper...featured on CBS Evening News

See video here: http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=4875079n

We at the paper had a lot of aspirations for Spring Break. Originally, we were going to roadtrip out to the great midwest to see the rock-opera sensation Rod Blagojevich Superstar, only to be thwarted due to conflicting schedules between our break and our youth hostel (read: my sister’s house). A few of us embarked on an adventure to Montreal to discover the Canadian Dream (which of course ignores the fact that Quebec might as well be an entirely fucking different sovereign state, but that’s neither here nor there). The reamining of us, however, decided to go into the depths of Cancun in a gonzo journalism exposé on the border war in Mexico. Unfortunately, some sleeper broadcast cell known as CBS News snatched the story out from under us. However, they at least had the courtesy to give us a little shout out. Keep your eyes peeled around the 40 second mark (then read Alex Gibbons’ article on it here!).

-Cardos



This Week’s Very Best Band in the World of All Time
March 14, 2009, 5:17 pm
Filed under: News | Tags: , ,

Every once in a long great while there comes along an opening act that blows the doors off the fuckin cosmos and rocks your worlds in ways you couldn’t have possibly comprehended before said band took stage. Last night, Francis and the Lights saved my life.

Powered by two percussionists, propelled with a smooth rhythm guitar and bass and smooved the fuck out with two jazzy looking cats on synth duties, the Lights could be the best backing band in the world; hammering out soft ‘n’ silky tunes for frontman Francis to do his nerdy James Brown thing while he spurts out Princely falsettos and Phil Collins grunts. 

Of course this MOR juggernaut was the last thing I expected to open for spazzy post-hardcore superdudes, Les Savy Fav. But after Francis’ first luscious hip thrust I was in heaven, by the time he reached the climax of his epic bedroom ballad “Strawberries” he had the whole audience asexually swinging their shoulders in time. But seriously how could you say no to these moves?

 

And the best news is, is that if that didn’t convince you, you can download his albums and sample all of his sings FREE from the band’s website here.

-Charles



Spring Break!!!!!!!!!!

In Moscow. Enjoy



I’m a Champion
March 13, 2009, 8:02 am
Filed under: Strange Days | Tags: , , ,

And people out there love me.

Poached from a  higher quality, more consistently updated blog with better writing. A lot better writing.



The Paper: March 10, 2009: New Issue Out Now!
March 11, 2009, 11:00 am
Filed under: Edits

March 10, 2009 — the NEW ISSUE of the paper is out today! Find it in every dorm and class building on campus and RIGHT HERE ONLINE! (Check out the pages on the lefthand toolbar.)

Don’t “get” the cover? Think about it…