Filed under: Sports | Tags: “Air Jamaica”, basketball, fordham, Joel Wright, Rams, Recruit
What’s the perfect analogy for the Fordham men’s basketball team’s ‘08-’09 campaign?
To make matters worse, it’s hard to imagine that recruiting visits for the A-10 cellar dwellers go nearly as well as a Tommy Boy sales pitch. So anytime there’s a shred of good news emanating from the Rose Hill Gym, it always catches our attention over here at the paper’s sports desk.
On Vacation
Yesterday, Fordham landed a commitment from Brooklyn prospect Joel “Air Jamaica” Wright, widely regarded as one of the better big men in the city.
Wright, who was being recruited by several Big East schools including St. John’s and West Virginia, said he chose the Ram’s because it offered him the opportunity to remain close to home, a chance at joining the starting lineup right away and that the coaching staff “loved me. They wanted me so bad.”
The 6-6, 18 year old from Thomas Jefferson High School is a junior and not eligible to sign a national letter of intent until November. He is due on campus in the fall of 2010.
His high school coach, Lawrence Pollard, thinks highly of the power forward who has led the Orange Wave to a 14-6 record while averaging 25 points and 19 rebounds a game. (more…)
Sometimes somethings don’t need any information. From the brain of supercomputer HAL 9000, the most efficient form of entertainment:
-Alex
Whilst not singing about the prom queen’s “fancy underwear,” Lil’ Wayne (the paper’s favorite syrup slurping rapper-cum-maniac) has been promoting this Years Grammy Awards on CBS. The politically charged preview of the interview had Mr. Carter claims that he wouldn’t ask former president George Bush a single question about Katrina, because “gangsta’s don’t ask questions,” implying some other form of confrontation instead… If noted promoter of bitch-ass-ness Kanye made waves when he said “George Bush doesn’t care about Black people,” think of how the world would react to Lil’ Wayne bopping him in the face… or at least throwing his “Greedy Genius” kicks at him… or maybe he’s just got nothing to say to the former nation ruiner. Anyways, here’s Weezy on a litany of topics where he swerves between eerie, menacing calm, to sedated, drug induced inanity:
Bonus Weezy madness after the jump…
Filed under: Edits, News, Strange Days | Tags: Beating Off, Cancer, Masturbation, Mom's Advice, Prostate, Science
Maybe Mom was right about keeping our hands out of our pants after all.
A report published earlier this week claims that males in their 20’s and 30’s who beat it to the tune of 2 to 7 times per week have an increased risk of developing prostate cancer before the age of 60.
Surprise.
The findings published Tuesday in Britain revealed that those of us who are able to show a little restraint from time to time showed an almost 80% percent less chance of catching the cancer bug
Conversely, the study found that if you can hold off on really going to town until you’re 50, incessant masturbation can actually help flush out some toxins that can cause other health problems in older males.
Men in their 40’s received little to no effects from their self pleasure practices, aside, of course, for self pleasure.
Most importantly, the study found no conclusive link between sexual activity and prostate cancer.
Translation = Keep on boning Fordham!
In a related story, assholes like Jim Nicholls, Pastor of the True Christian Church of Christ in Blytheville, Arkansas,.who have been claiming all along that good, old fashioned alone time is really just the work of the devil, would have had another piece of evidence to add to their attack on self love if, you know, they actually believed in science.
And this time it might have had just a shred of credibility, as opposed to the obvious dirty connections between liberals, violence, and excessive masturbation purported by Mr. Nicholls: (more…)
Filed under: Edits, News | Tags: 236.com, Canadians, Gambling, Genius! Genius!, Michelle Obama, right-wing talk radio hosts, Terrorists
It appears that Fordham University has joined the sorry cast of figures doomed to suffer great indignities to survive this “Recession.” In order to make a little money to get by in these hard times, Fordham will be renting out facilities at Lincoln Center to conventions to the tune of one million dollars, according to crainsnewyork.com.
In these desperate times, where money is so tight, one must ask of this notoriously stingy institution: Where does our $40,000 a year tuition go to? Does it go Barnes & Noble so they can set up shop on our campus and scalp us on text books? Or does it go to Sodexo so that they can provide a poorly run service and nickle-and-dime our room and board? Who knows?
Filed under: Edits, News, Sports | Tags: Celeb obits, Harvard Lampoon, John Updike, New York Times, New Yorker, Ted Williams
The Kid
John Updike, the writer behind the Rabbit Angstrom novels and the author of hundreds of short-stories and essays on a myriad of subjects, died today. He was 76. If you’re a member of the New York Times’ website (and you should-it’s free) you can read his obituary here.
More after the jump. (more…)
And as long as it’s on Fox News it’s OK.
For your viewing pleasure, the fine folks at Fox explain the Donkey Punch in a clip taken completely out of context and only barely related to the British film Donkey Punch, which opens in the US today.
For my money I prefer the New York Times review:
A young woman in the throes of passion accidentally dies from a donkey punch, a potentially lethal erotic stunt involving a blow to the back of the neck that is supposed to intensify the peak experience.
Classic.
-Pete
In news that will surely have Father McShane ripping his red moustache in frustration, a local community bored in mid-town Manhattan is expected to vote down an endorsement of Fordham U’s big bad plan to explained further into the Starbucks style wasteland that is 59th Street on the West Side.
There's Just No Reasoning With These People!
In addition to that the board appears to be driven to tangle up Daddy Mac’s grand scheme of selling back land the school purchased through eminent domain to make condos, or some shit.
the paper’s eminent domain expert, Harold Quaab XLII claims that the reasoning behind the boards decision stems from their ultimate desire to see an end to the endless parade of lame-wads pretending to be Carrie Bradshaw livin’ it up in the city pretending to inhale cigarettes.
-Charles
