The fifth–and final–in a series of very lazy year end posts that, like a good clip show, celebrate our best moments of the year with absolutely no creative effort of any kind. The following article is the Feature Page from our September 24th issue.
Recognizing Your Humorous Manuscripts
the paper’s Guide To Essential Graphic Novels
bye, Alex Gibbons
Graphic novels are rarely considered pieces of art, understandably, as many contemporary graphic novels are merely longer versions of their poorly written serial-comic counterparts. There exists, however, many talented artists and writers working in the graphic novel realm with the intent of furthering the legitimacy of the medium. This list is certainly not concise, but in the post Dark Knight comic-book world, with Hollywood working to buy up every existing comic-book script, it is important to recognize the seasoned artists of the graphic novel world. Here are five artists whose contributions to the graphic novel world have been extremely entertaining and especially influential. Their dialogues are unique, their illustrations gorgeous, and their messages clear and outstanding. You can find any of these at any variety store, perhaps placed precariously behind serials and back issues of Iron Man, but important nonetheless. Buy em’, rent em’, steal em’, and read em’, these are the paper’s essential, must read graphic novels. (more…)
Filed under: Edits, News | Tags: 2008, Best of 2008, gotcha journalism, John McCain, journalism, media, remebering 2008, Sarah Palin
The fourth in a series of very lazy year end posts that, like a good clip show, celebrate our best moments of the year with absolutely no creative effort of any kind. The following article first appeared in our October 8th issue.
Gotcha!
The Danger of Palin’s War on Journalism
By Bill Donahue
Co-Deaditor-In-Chief
It would be fairly foolish to expect politicians to willingly give straight-forward answers that fully satisfy the questions asked by journalists. They, in their attempt to court voters, are trying with all their might to answer in such a way that is beneficial to their image and does not expose weakness. It makes sense that they would try to change the subject, answer euphemistically, or do anything else to avoid tough questions. This is a sad reality, but a reality nonetheless. (more…)
Filed under: Earwax | Tags: 2008, abe lincoln, Best of 2008, Earwax, Paper Trail, remebering 2008, T.I.
The third in a series of very lazy year end posts that, like a good clip show, celebrate our best moments of the year with absolutely no creative effort of any kind. The following review first appeared in our October 28th issue.
T.I., Paper Trail, (Atlantic Records)
By Sam Wadhams
Editor-At-Large
Things have been interesting for T.I. lately. The rapper released T.I. vs. T.I.P., which went platinum. Awesome. Then he got set up on a gun buy by his bodyguard and arrested by federal agents. Bummer. Then he made another album, Paper Trail, the contents of which happen to account for roughly 50% of all music currently played on the radio. He’s under house arrest and looking at serving time in prison starting in 2009. Bummer. Paper Trail goes gold on release. Sweet. (more…)
Filed under: Sports | Tags: 2008, Best of 2008, fordham, Fordham Ram, FU, mascot, Ram, Ramses, Ramulus, remebering 2008, Sports
The second in a series of very lazy year end posts that, like a good clip show, celebrate our best moments of the year with absolutely no creative effort of any kind. The following article first appeared in our last issue of the semester.
Editor’s note: This was the greatest piece of sports journalism to be published during my time as sports editor of the paper. Fact.
I R-Am Legend
From Ramulus To Ramses
A paper Sport’s History
By Alexander Gibbons
Staff Historian
The story of Fordham University’s live Ram mascot, Ramses, his conception, birth, and the details of his life, has forever been a topic of intense debate amongst the scholarly elite. (more…)
Filed under: Edits | Tags: 2008, Best of 2008, corn, corn poop, food, remebering 2008, sweet corn
The first in a series of very lazy year end posts that, like a good clip show, celebrate our best moments of the year with absolutely no creative effort of any kind. The following article first appeared in our October 28th issue.
Corn
Too Good For God
by Ben McLaughlin
News Editor
Though I sincerely hope that I was not deprived of the luscious nectar of the gods for the first six years of my life, my first tangible encounter with sweet corn was had at my grandma’s dinner table in suburban Dublin. (more…)
Filed under: Edits, News | Tags: Barack Obama, Barack Obama Titties, Blagojevich, Roland Burris, tits
The Chicago Sun-Times is reporting embattled Gov. “Big” Rod Blagojovich will appoint this guy, Roland Burris, as the replacement for “Big Boobs” Obama after the country decided to elect the most glamorous fun bags in the US Senate to the oval office.
Let's See Some Skin!!
Not to be confused with bonerific French statesman Roland Garros, who, coincidentaly, is also endowed with a world renown rack, it has yet to be determined if Burris will have the man ta-tas to live up to the vacancy the Obama presidency will create on Capitol Hill. Other candidates for best senatorial titties include front-runner Ted Kennedy (dependant on a healthy recovery from a brain tumor), perenial underdog John “The Mac Attack” McCain, and the zombie corpse of Ronald Reagan.
More from The Confederacy of Boobs after this. (more…)
Filed under: Edits, News | Tags: Drudge Report, Hamas, Israel, New York Times, Palestine, revenge, violence
Leftist Rag
The lead story from today’s New York Times reports that the death toll in the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian conflict has risen to over 350 people. Meanwhile Matt Drudge led off today’s news cycle with “INCOMING,” which linked to this story.
Moving away from America’s favorite sensationalist media aggregator-dickhead and into our nation’s journal of record, the Times sees “no early end” to the latest round of violence to stem from the region. With no end in sight, one wonders what the next chapter of this long and bloodied history will hold.
While few pretend to know the answer–in fact, I rarely pretend to know anything at all–I do contend that I know a good idea when I hear one. And even though that last sentence may be somewhat incomprehensible, hopefully, these next few will not:
The Middle East crisis is a mess of a war that will probably drag on for centuries unless we take drastic diplomatic steps. Besides looking at the complex historical causes for the bloodshed, consider the present situation: each time one side attacks, the other retaliates on a greater scale. One side needs to refrain from reacting when provoked. Such a course seems simple, but when we look at the desire for revenge we in the U.S. felt after Sept. 11, we can understand that it is no small feat to accomplish.
April 15, 2002
Appearing in Time magazine over six years ago and written as a Letter to the Editor by a high school freshman, the idea seems simple enough. Sounding vaguely similar to another, oft recounted saying, something involving a “turn” and a “cheek,” an actual stop in retaliation would require far more strength than either side has yet to show.
In their repeated attempts to resolve this conflict through military might, whether it be rockets from the south or airstrikes from the north, both Hamas and the Israeli government have refused to commit to traveling down the only path that will lead to long term safety and stability. Pursuing a course of diplomacy takes an acknowledged amount of difficulty. Of course retaliation is the easy option. Yet if some jackass high school freshman could come up with this plan, wouldn’t you like to imagine that somebody a little higher up in the chain of command would see it too.
Hopefully it won’t take centuries to happen either.
-PM.
Filed under: Sports | Tags: abe lincoln, football, garbage, Lions, NFL, Sports
This Lion was later mercy killed to make an exotic rug.
Many people wanted to see Daunte Culpepper return to Pro Football, and to his credit; he almost made it. With today’s loss to my Green Bay Packers, the Football Lions of Detroit have emerged as the biggest flock of shit-geese in the eighty-eight year history of the NFL. The Lions have long been regarded as the semi-retarded red-headed fifth stepchild of Pro Football, but even their previous reputation as a pack of heavily padded Trig Palins has been surpassed today as they become the first team in NFL history to go 0-16. Years ago, as documented in George Plimpton’s Paper Lion, Lions quarterback Bobby Layne lead the Lions to three NFL championships, but when the team traded him to Pittsburgh in 1958 he promised the team 50 years of nothing but genital shark attacks and busted draft picks, and Bobby Layne gets his fucking wishes.
More Lion taming (plus a vid) after the jump. (more…)
Filed under: Strange Days | Tags: Happy Hanukkah, Life magazine, Merry Christmas, the paper
A puppy for Christmas! (1972)
As many of you may know, Life magazine put their entire photo archive online…for free! So what better way to say Merry Christmas than with random old Christmas pictures of random old people?!
