Filed under: Sports | Tags: Bronx County Historical Society, Yankee Stadium
Sickened from the sight of the Philadelphia Phillies celebrating their first title in 28 years? Feeling that lack of Yankees’ baseball in your life? Can’t wait for pitchers and catcher to report so you can wash that ugly taste of missing the post-season for the first time since the ‘94 strike from your mouths? Well, even as we here at the paper revel in the downfall of both New York baseball clubs, we also acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, something pretty cool took place at that dump down on 161st street. So even though the “House That Ruth Built” is off to stadium hell, and the new edifice across the street is mired in some issues with unethical financing, we offer the Bronx County Historical Society’s new exhibition Yankee Stadium – Now & Forever as an antidote for any residual effects you may be feeling from the 2008 season.
It’s your last chance to relive the old glory days before they turn your beloved baseball team’s old stomping grounds into a parking lot.
You do remember the glory days right? You know, back when you weren’t looking up at the Rays in the standings.
To get to The Bronx County Historical Society’s exhibition go to the:
Valentine-Varian House/ Museum of Bronx History
3266 Bainbridge Avenue at East 208th St.
Directions from Fordham: Take the Bx55 bus from 3 Ave. & Fordham Road heading to Fordham, get off at Webster Ave. and 204 St. Follow north on 204 St. past Decatur Ave., turn right on Bainbridge.
-Pete
Filed under: Sports | Tags: Air-Bama, Athletics, McCain, Obama, Wrestlin' Mac
With Tuesday, November 4th fast approaching millions of Americans will be making their way to the local church, school, community center to fulfill their civic duties. If your anything like me then you still have no idea which candidate is the better of the two. Despite watching every debate, convention, and countless hours of the omniscient Bill O’Reilly I still don’t know which candidate is the right choice. As a result I’ve decided to make my decision on a much more important topic, sports. Yesterday I had the pleasure of talking to each of the candidates about their athletic and managing abilities in an array of sporting competitions.
Air-bama
Leadership is an important presidential quality, perhaps the most important. To test candidates’s leadership ability I had them create a baseball team. On each team were the candidates most trusted advisors. For Obama he began with what he thought was most important, the general manager. But he didn’t want just one person as his general manager, but rather a team of general managers. He explained that his team of GMs would fundraise across the country through websites, e-mail, direct-mail, and robocalls. According to his calculations he would be able to buy the New York Yankees within two months, an impressive feat. McCain went an entirely different route. He hesitated at first, and then with great confidence McCain stated, “at my various estates there is a lot of ‘help’, these helpers are not just committed to the upkeep of my sweet mansions but also have a second job playing baseball for the Tampa Bay Rays.” McCain wins this one in easily.
The Next Round Of Presidential Olympics After The Jump
(more…)
Filed under: Arts, Edits | Tags: 911: The Bronx, Alcohol, AODE, Don't tell mom!, fordham, Rambulance, St. Barnabas Hospital, Stomach Pumping, transports
Make Fordham Proud!!
You know the hospital at the end of Arthur where they take you to get your stomach pumped? Of course you don’t. You don’t remember anything from that night, save for what your two idiot friends told you the next morning when they met you at the security office, deathly dehydrated and hating life, after the Rambulance pushed you out of the back at 7am the next morning. But you might have been a star.
Well, that hospital is called St. Barnabas. And thanks to a new reality show, called 911: The Bronx, that chronicles its emergency room, now a national audience knows what a drunken asshole you can be. And considering a recent spike in Fordham students getting transported to St. Barnabas, we at the paper think it’s fair to say we’ll be seeing some of you on TV very soon.
Filed under: Arts, Earwax, Edits, News, Sports | Tags: fordham, new issue, the paper
October 28, 2008 — the NEW ISSUE of the paper is out today!!!!!!!!!!!!! Pick up an issue anywhere on campus (you should find stacks of it in all dorms and class buildings) or check it out ONLINE! RIGHT HERE! Just click the section links in the toolbar on the left to read everything from News to Sports and all that is in between.
much love,
the paper
Hot.
Recently I had the opportunity to see Equus, Harry Potter’s theatrical hit, on Broadway. The show has been a huge success in London, where young girls literally fight each other for the chance to get a glimpse of their teen crush in person. Arriving at the theater, my heart palpitated with anticipation of what was to come. I was sure to see some sort of homoerotic story about Harry Potter and horses, reminiscent of the all those hot Dumbledore on Potter scenes from the fan fiction that I wrote cuddled up under the sheets on so many long and lonely nights.
My seat was towards the back of the orchestra section. Some poor suckers that bought their tickets that day were standing behind me, where I knew they would be unable to adequately glimpse Daniel Radcliffe’s member. As the lights when down I prepared myself to behold Harry as only that guy that plays the new Dumbledore, and Emma Watson, and thousands of people in New York and London had before; completely fucking naked.
Harry gets nakey after the jump
Filed under: Arts | Tags: August Burns Red, bloody nose, hardcore, Jerry Roush, metal, Show Review, Sky Eats Airplane, the chariot
No, not this kind of metal guys.
When I first got to Fordham, I had a strong aversion to hardcore/metal. I didn’t get it at all; it was just noise. However, I had just finished up my embarrassing and terrible Fall Out Boy phase (I know, I know, keep your mockery to yourself), so I was eager to find new and better types of music. I became friends with two people who are really into metal, so after listening to some of my friends’ favorites bands… I still didn’t really get it.
One of my friends explained that there are plenty of bullshit metal bands, but when you find a good one, it’s not just “screaming” and “noise.” His two preferences of music are classical and metal. It might seem contradictory to people, but he explained that the way metal is arranged can be extremely complex, similar to how classical music is constructed. The “screaming” that I wasn’t too fond of at the time, he explained, is meant to fit into the music. When I listened to the music again, I realized how intense each part was; the drums, the guitar, the bass, and even the vocals.
mo’ hardcore love after the jump (more…)
Filed under: Edits, News | Tags: High School Musical 3, Ruby Tuesday's, Sex Drive, Zach Efron
A group of midwestern families expecting to see a wholesome matinee showing of High School Musical 3, were exposed to the opening sequence of the lurid Superbad ripoff Sex Drive instead. Scores of moms were reported bleeding from the eyes and one child’s head exploded when the word “SEX” came on the screen, others began involuntarily masturbating wildly. Four good Christian families were trampled to death in the rush for the exits.
Here is an artist's rendition of the panic
Once outside of the theater the Disney loving clans found they were no better off outside the theaters as billboards everywhere were using that horrible word… “SEX” to sell things. The dark sky roiled with the Lords divine wrath as families were transformed from God-fearing nuclear units to murderous sex freaks, turning over cars and participating in despicable sex acts at the Ruby Tuesday’s next door. “I’ve never seen fried zuchinni sticks used in such a deplorable manner,” said one regular Joe enjoying a Ruby Tuesday’s finger lickin’ sampler.
Scientists are now saying that this example is conclusive proof that regular exposure to the visage of Zach Efron is necessary to destroy any and all sexual impulses.
Read the real (and quite possibly just as absurd story) here.
-Charles
Spoooky!
Hello children,
We here at the paper are currently winding down production on our latest issue, to hit newsstands on Wednesday. Theres a lot going on, from spooky Halloween movies to spooky election stuff. Co-Editor-In-Chief Bill Donahue did some live blogging from the World Series in Philadelphia, which will later appear not live and not in a blog. Until it then gets put on the blog. Sports has an all-out NBA preview and some school Rugby coverage. Arts has the paper’s dance instructor and master impressionist Alex Gibbons banging out a review of Oliver Stone’s new film W. Earwax covers T.I., Devin the Dude, Annuals and more. News has some election coverage, some Iraq coverage, and covers the world, and of course Edits has some of the finest personal essays never to be submitted as part of a college application.
Things that are not covered in this issue include an American attack on Syrian soil, evolution and Teen Wolf. But, despite not producing much on Friday and Saturday of homecoming weekend (too busy showing alumns the construction and recently renamed North), we sat down in our writing pants and put together one of the finest issues of the paper since the domestication of livestock. So start counting down, and when you see it in your dorm or caf or classroom building, make sure to stomp your feet and hold your breath until somebody buys you a copy. It’s free, but it’ll make you feel powerful. But to get yourself in the mood for the spookiest weekend of the year, have fun watching some imprisoned Phillipinos dance out Thriller on a massive scale and be happy you’re not the dude who has to play the girlfriend.
-Sam
Filed under: Edits, News | Tags: Liberal Elite, Politico, pwnd, Sarah Palin, Wardrobe, William Easterly
The website Politico.com held it’s daily online discussion board with various academic types, policy-makers, and political strategists, to discuss the importance of Palin’s whopping $150,000 wardrobe. Everyone took their shots and bickered and bantered about the totally bogus notion of a double standard. But only one member of the Educated East Coast Liberal Elite came out with two middle fingers raised proudly in the air, and that was William Easterly, professor of Economics at NYU. Check it out:
Sarah Palin, you just got pwnd, and Will Easterly, this Bud’s for you.
-Charles
